Once upon a time....

I am stuck. It feels like I had a change of heart somewhere in between the months of September and December. After analyzing my career goals over and over again, I finally came to the conclusion that I would ideally like to be in a med school next year. I am stumped by this conclusion because I (and that is a BIG, BOLD "I") switched out of my major of pre-medicine two years back so that I could pursue engineering and avoid becoming a practicing doctor that my family had initially goaded me into. Don't get me wrong - I still do not want to become a practicing doctor; I just want to get my hands as close to operating and peeping into a human body as possible. I want to design medical devices whilst having a complete understanding of the physiology and having the degree to claim my astuteness in building one of these things. Aaah, now I am a little too late to apply to med schools for the next academic year along with being delinquent on a few of their pre-requisites. Wow, I never thought I would land myself in such deep quagmire! ...Unless... I find ways to land in my dream job without getting a degree, which might be difficult but not impossible... Boy, do I need some guidance or what?!

Jaw-dropping, isn't it?? Kids these days are so talented!!

I am officially on break and therefore living at home and absorbed in touching base with da family! Besides that, I have started reading the book "A Journey Into the Heart" (how cardiovascular treatments came into existence - quite amazing book actually) by David Monagan. Also need to finish my research paper before the end of break. Also on the cards is going to drop off my closest cousin at the airport as she leaves for her wedding in India. She will meet her fiance in personfor the first time and will get married 10 days later. I am a little nervous for her, and way tooo sad that I will not be able to attend her wedding. :'(

anyway, hope you all had a Merry Xmas and wish you a dazzling New Year!

I just accepted a job offer after intense contemplation over the weekend. Yes, the option of extending my college life went out of the window with my decision, but alas, I had to move on... I am thinking of getting an M.B.A. after working for a couple of years, although I am kinda annoyed by the fact that almost every person I talk to these days is getting or planning to get an M.B.A.. Why is it that this one degree in business has the power to catapult people's career higher (salary wise) than any other master's degree? I think it is unfair that the world operates this way :-|

Ever had to pick one option from three equally enticing choices knowing that you will have to stick with the one you chose for a long time while giving up all others? It is like being forced to choose only one husband or one wife out of several different, equally qualified people. On the outside, everybody seems eligible and desirable. But you can only find your true compatibility after being forced into a marriage contract and suffering through it.

Choosing your final job offer feels something like that. There will always be sufferings, but the trick is to pick one with the least problems and maximum benefits.

Consider me dead for the coming two weeks. I am not even going to bother to bore you with my protracted list of things to do. Just wanted to say that with 2 finals, 4 projects and 4 assignments to submit in the next two weeks, it might be unwise for me to update this space for a while.

On the same side-note though, it felt so awesome leading my group consisting of three other grad students onto coming up with a novel idea for our project! Yeah, I am silly and immodest, but only in front of you guys! :P

Thanksgiving break. Wednesday afternoon to Sunday night. A good, long time to relax and get caught up on school work and errands. If only things fell in place so neatly.....

Yes, this past weekend was a complete bummer! Why, you ask? Because it drove my sanity haywire! I began doubting my discretion, attitude, my wisdom. A total self-indignation it was! And to be honest, I have not completely recuperated from this disparagement. The only conclusion I could come to was to shun the causes of these troubles. I have never been good at convoluted thinking, or understanding the mind games being played by guys, and I hate having to find myself being fooled into thinking that a friendship is normal when in fact it is not!! I think I am clear with friends about my expectations and limitations, and it vilifies me to see their wishful thinking. And you know what desecrates me even more? It only hits me when my close friends tell me that things are abnormal and that I should have acted in a more cold and mature manner!

Times like these make me wish to get rid of my naivety so that I could recognize the convoluted minds and not give them the benefit of doubt. And I know that I have not done anything half as bad as it sounds, but the shock of my stupor lingers to make me feel inferior.

That's it, I am growing up, even if it requires being mean to every sly person. No more sympathy for weird outcasts, no more benefits of doubts for anybody, and no more toleration of immature behavior!


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“Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.” - Bertrand Russell
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It is mind-blowing to think about how many professors and professionals I have been meeting and learning from this quarter! Ahh, I love being in school (minus the acad pressures :P) ..

There is something that distracts me. There is something that I have to consciously stop myself from doing. I like to stay detached from people and things so that I will not be lachrymose when things don't turn out as expected. And yet, this silly mind of mine is eager to connect to the most ephemeral of all things, and to the obviously momentary vanity. What will I do with myself?? Thanks for all the distractions, Shreya, and now if you will excuse me, I will have to castigate myself by pulling another all-nighter....

Why are guys so uncultured? Why do students come to class in their PJs? Why is it so annoying to sit next to shabby students? hmmm... maybe a little background will shed light on my rhetorical questioning. So I wake up at 5:30 a.m., get ready, study for my evening quiz, get breakfast and go to my 8:30 am class. I sit next to a guy in a red sweat-shirt, not knowing that he is one of those people who have just got out of bed to rush to class without changing out of their PJ's and freshening their morning breath. So ten minutes into the lecture, and you can see that everybody has settled into their seats, this guy starts scratching himself on and off at awkward places on his body. I try to avoid him, but I always end up catching a glimpse from the corner of my eye while I am looking at the professor. But thankfully, he does stop after half an hour of periodic scratching, and opens up his big mouth to yawn! And so there comes the reeking smell of the morning breath. I was so restive (irritated) that I considered storming out of my seat and taking up a new one farthest from any other unkempt student, but I restrained myself thinking that the class would be over soon and I could go running to vent out my frustrations on this blog. Just kidding, but I did loathe myself for putting up with the torture... arrghhhh...

I do not like the end of Daylight Savings Timings! It is only 5:30 pm but it is pitch-black outside! *sigh* So depressing....

Have you ever had times when you have to act like a parent to your parents while they unknowingly act like an innocent kid? I have, and in fact, today was one of those days. I played along with them in the same ebullient spirit about something significant, even though I could foresee the lurking of unwholesome news. I acted the way I did simply because it seemed mean to bog them with harsh truths while they were having one happy moment in life. And so like every other parent who knows their child will learn by herself with time, I belied my fears and balked short of warning them. Now with all that in hindsight, the only question that I am pondering about is, "God, when will I become a child again?"

I watched Bhool-Bhulaiya today by myself. How appropriate for Halloween! :D

Also, here is my roomie all-dressed up as a vampire and ready to get to work.. Please ignore the junk in the room (that's her side of the room hehe..):

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7065061.stm

Check out this list of common mispronounced words: I burst out laughing as I remembered how I had witnessed many of these in the past, and am now worried that I am going to confuse the wrong and the right terminology *tongue-in-cheek*:

http://www.yourdictionary.com/library/mispron.html


This is my post#2 after I said I was going to quit blogging. wah!

Yes, consider this my encore entry! I am not officially back to blogging, but here is briefing of what I have been upto lately:

Classes are in full swing, and in fact, we are half way done with the quarter! It is midterm week at the university currently. I had 'Macro-economics' and 'Signals and Systems' midterms last Monday and have 'Medical Imaging' exam this coming Wednesday. Bah, I am even late on a homework submission for the Imaging class which is going to cost me 5% penalty. :(

Being a senior in college has many perks, such as having a sense of security about friends and knowing where to find the required resources. I see freshmen and sophomores in the dining halls and it reminds me of days when I was new to the college and looking for friendly faces, innocent souls and astute minds. Despite of all alacrity, it was an onerous task for a transfer student like me to find the group of friends whom I could easily gel with. But after being here for 3 years, I have become a lot more comfortable with the university setting and college life in general. I am sad to leave my security blanket at the present college and move on to a new place to find my niche with new people, but then again, what fun is a life without challenges, right?

And so talking about moving to a new place, I should mention that I have been spending significant time deciding what I want to do upon graduation with a Bachelors in Engineering. I have interviews with two companies (the only two that I applied to, whole-heartedly :P) next Friday. One of the companies is also offering a free overnight stay in a four-star hotel to attend their Thursday evening social and friday interview sessions. However, I will have to pass up their offer in lieu of my other interview, classes and quiz on Friday. You can't have it all, can you now? However, I am not too worried about landing into a job anyway, because my first priority is getting into grad school. Applications are due mid-november, and I am way behind on writing my personal statements.

Well, I have spilled enough beans about myself for now because I did not know what else to write. All those philosophical/analytical thoughts have been entered into my personal diary in a manner so incoherent that they sound like secret codes, therefore I am going to spare you the trouble of reading my fancy writing.

Alright, I want to get an assignment out of my way and then practice twirling the dandiya :D. I am apparently not over the Navratri fever, and being a Gujarati, it is totally unacceptable to not know how to twirl dandiya between my finger-phalanges. Got to go now, Toodles! \m/

I have decided to officially shut down this blog, especially since I have not been blogging much in a long time. The scattered few entries that I have written in the last month or two make me feel inadequate and empty of creativity. So after some contemplation, I have decided to do myself a favor and move on from this blog. I will still be making rounds of your bloggerings and drop by to say 'hi', but there will be no new entries on this page anymore.

I shall return to the blogging circuit under a new name and new webspace if I miss it enough to start writing again. I just wanted to say that all of you who dropped by my blog regularly have been great friends, especially when it came down to receiving motivation, understanding different perspectives and strengthening my beliefs. Thank you for being there through my ranting and raving; I really appreciate it. Take care, fellas!

Regards,
Shreya

Todna hota to rishta hum na banate,
Umeed nahi hoti to hum sapney na sajaate,
aitbaar kiye hum apke wafa pe,
bharosa na hota to dil apke haath me na thamatey

Every morning I wake up to shayaris like this received through email or IM from a somebody that I do not know. I tried asking this person how he had my email address and who he was, but the only thing I got in reply each time is a generic ' Hi Shreya, h r u? I miss u' followed by some skimpy shayari. Makes me think that he is one of those time-pass people who does not know me and cannot write or talk much in English whatsoever. Well, Mr. rahul_raz25@yahoo.com, in case you are reading this, you might soon be blocked off or be bombarded with tons of spam email if I lose my head. Jerk!