Once upon a time....

Thanksgiving break. Wednesday afternoon to Sunday night. A good, long time to relax and get caught up on school work and errands. If only things fell in place so neatly.....

Yes, this past weekend was a complete bummer! Why, you ask? Because it drove my sanity haywire! I began doubting my discretion, attitude, my wisdom. A total self-indignation it was! And to be honest, I have not completely recuperated from this disparagement. The only conclusion I could come to was to shun the causes of these troubles. I have never been good at convoluted thinking, or understanding the mind games being played by guys, and I hate having to find myself being fooled into thinking that a friendship is normal when in fact it is not!! I think I am clear with friends about my expectations and limitations, and it vilifies me to see their wishful thinking. And you know what desecrates me even more? It only hits me when my close friends tell me that things are abnormal and that I should have acted in a more cold and mature manner!

Times like these make me wish to get rid of my naivety so that I could recognize the convoluted minds and not give them the benefit of doubt. And I know that I have not done anything half as bad as it sounds, but the shock of my stupor lingers to make me feel inferior.

That's it, I am growing up, even if it requires being mean to every sly person. No more sympathy for weird outcasts, no more benefits of doubts for anybody, and no more toleration of immature behavior!


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“Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.” - Bertrand Russell
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It is mind-blowing to think about how many professors and professionals I have been meeting and learning from this quarter! Ahh, I love being in school (minus the acad pressures :P) ..

There is something that distracts me. There is something that I have to consciously stop myself from doing. I like to stay detached from people and things so that I will not be lachrymose when things don't turn out as expected. And yet, this silly mind of mine is eager to connect to the most ephemeral of all things, and to the obviously momentary vanity. What will I do with myself?? Thanks for all the distractions, Shreya, and now if you will excuse me, I will have to castigate myself by pulling another all-nighter....

Why are guys so uncultured? Why do students come to class in their PJs? Why is it so annoying to sit next to shabby students? hmmm... maybe a little background will shed light on my rhetorical questioning. So I wake up at 5:30 a.m., get ready, study for my evening quiz, get breakfast and go to my 8:30 am class. I sit next to a guy in a red sweat-shirt, not knowing that he is one of those people who have just got out of bed to rush to class without changing out of their PJ's and freshening their morning breath. So ten minutes into the lecture, and you can see that everybody has settled into their seats, this guy starts scratching himself on and off at awkward places on his body. I try to avoid him, but I always end up catching a glimpse from the corner of my eye while I am looking at the professor. But thankfully, he does stop after half an hour of periodic scratching, and opens up his big mouth to yawn! And so there comes the reeking smell of the morning breath. I was so restive (irritated) that I considered storming out of my seat and taking up a new one farthest from any other unkempt student, but I restrained myself thinking that the class would be over soon and I could go running to vent out my frustrations on this blog. Just kidding, but I did loathe myself for putting up with the torture... arrghhhh...

I do not like the end of Daylight Savings Timings! It is only 5:30 pm but it is pitch-black outside! *sigh* So depressing....

Have you ever had times when you have to act like a parent to your parents while they unknowingly act like an innocent kid? I have, and in fact, today was one of those days. I played along with them in the same ebullient spirit about something significant, even though I could foresee the lurking of unwholesome news. I acted the way I did simply because it seemed mean to bog them with harsh truths while they were having one happy moment in life. And so like every other parent who knows their child will learn by herself with time, I belied my fears and balked short of warning them. Now with all that in hindsight, the only question that I am pondering about is, "God, when will I become a child again?"

I watched Bhool-Bhulaiya today by myself. How appropriate for Halloween! :D

Also, here is my roomie all-dressed up as a vampire and ready to get to work.. Please ignore the junk in the room (that's her side of the room hehe..):

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7065061.stm

Check out this list of common mispronounced words: I burst out laughing as I remembered how I had witnessed many of these in the past, and am now worried that I am going to confuse the wrong and the right terminology *tongue-in-cheek*:

http://www.yourdictionary.com/library/mispron.html


This is my post#2 after I said I was going to quit blogging. wah!

Yes, consider this my encore entry! I am not officially back to blogging, but here is briefing of what I have been upto lately:

Classes are in full swing, and in fact, we are half way done with the quarter! It is midterm week at the university currently. I had 'Macro-economics' and 'Signals and Systems' midterms last Monday and have 'Medical Imaging' exam this coming Wednesday. Bah, I am even late on a homework submission for the Imaging class which is going to cost me 5% penalty. :(

Being a senior in college has many perks, such as having a sense of security about friends and knowing where to find the required resources. I see freshmen and sophomores in the dining halls and it reminds me of days when I was new to the college and looking for friendly faces, innocent souls and astute minds. Despite of all alacrity, it was an onerous task for a transfer student like me to find the group of friends whom I could easily gel with. But after being here for 3 years, I have become a lot more comfortable with the university setting and college life in general. I am sad to leave my security blanket at the present college and move on to a new place to find my niche with new people, but then again, what fun is a life without challenges, right?

And so talking about moving to a new place, I should mention that I have been spending significant time deciding what I want to do upon graduation with a Bachelors in Engineering. I have interviews with two companies (the only two that I applied to, whole-heartedly :P) next Friday. One of the companies is also offering a free overnight stay in a four-star hotel to attend their Thursday evening social and friday interview sessions. However, I will have to pass up their offer in lieu of my other interview, classes and quiz on Friday. You can't have it all, can you now? However, I am not too worried about landing into a job anyway, because my first priority is getting into grad school. Applications are due mid-november, and I am way behind on writing my personal statements.

Well, I have spilled enough beans about myself for now because I did not know what else to write. All those philosophical/analytical thoughts have been entered into my personal diary in a manner so incoherent that they sound like secret codes, therefore I am going to spare you the trouble of reading my fancy writing.

Alright, I want to get an assignment out of my way and then practice twirling the dandiya :D. I am apparently not over the Navratri fever, and being a Gujarati, it is totally unacceptable to not know how to twirl dandiya between my finger-phalanges. Got to go now, Toodles! \m/

I have decided to officially shut down this blog, especially since I have not been blogging much in a long time. The scattered few entries that I have written in the last month or two make me feel inadequate and empty of creativity. So after some contemplation, I have decided to do myself a favor and move on from this blog. I will still be making rounds of your bloggerings and drop by to say 'hi', but there will be no new entries on this page anymore.

I shall return to the blogging circuit under a new name and new webspace if I miss it enough to start writing again. I just wanted to say that all of you who dropped by my blog regularly have been great friends, especially when it came down to receiving motivation, understanding different perspectives and strengthening my beliefs. Thank you for being there through my ranting and raving; I really appreciate it. Take care, fellas!

Regards,
Shreya

Todna hota to rishta hum na banate,
Umeed nahi hoti to hum sapney na sajaate,
aitbaar kiye hum apke wafa pe,
bharosa na hota to dil apke haath me na thamatey

Every morning I wake up to shayaris like this received through email or IM from a somebody that I do not know. I tried asking this person how he had my email address and who he was, but the only thing I got in reply each time is a generic ' Hi Shreya, h r u? I miss u' followed by some skimpy shayari. Makes me think that he is one of those time-pass people who does not know me and cannot write or talk much in English whatsoever. Well, Mr. rahul_raz25@yahoo.com, in case you are reading this, you might soon be blocked off or be bombarded with tons of spam email if I lose my head. Jerk!

If you don't have a competitive advantage, don't compete.
-Jack Welch

In other words, if you really want to compete for something, get a competitive advantage first!

I think I am going to play Intramural Dodgeball tonight with my hostel kids. But before that, I need to finish 1 homework, study a chapter for my Economics quiz tomorrow and go work out for at least an hour to save my recent routine. So far, school has been tolerable because I have finished all my assignments before time, and my research assignment on Atrial Fibrillation has not been handed out yet. I have got more interesting things to talk about, but have no spare time to articulate those thoughts for a sensible post. My To-do list is long enough to devour all of my time! Oh well, so be it....

There is a centipede invasion on my floor! My room-mate killed one on my bed last night when I was half-asleep! Gawd, now I am scared of sleeping in my room :-s

Wow! Things are going a little haywire for me these days. I am being this rebellious kid who does not want to do what she needs to do, but instead lives in the moment and follows her whim to guide her actions. Examples would be not being serious about making and marketing my resume like my other friends; not having the mood to finish up whatever task I took to hand; not finishing my grad school apps; not calling home regularly to keep in touch with family, etc etc....

So my apologies for not finishing the GRE post. I think I will not have the motivation to write it until and unless I make significant progress on my pending work.

I took my GREs two days back. I walked into the center at 3 pm even though my exam was scheduled for 4:30 pm. This would be the first time in my life that I was so early for a appointment. But anyhow, the exam center happened to have open computers and the proxies offered me the option of starting early. It would have been nice to get it over with early, but I still wanted to look over my word-list for one last time and maybe prep myself for issue writing task by reading one of those samples essays or a magazine article. So I sat there for another hour doing last-minute preparations. I wasn't nervous or anxious at that time; I was confident, but just needed some brushing up of my acquired knowledge.

So I finally closed my books at 4:00 pm and secured my stuff in a locker after eating two 'Tiger' glucose biscuits. The proxy was very affable and he quickly signed me in and gave me general instructions about the test. I walked into the room with sound-proof glass windows and sat down at the table pointed to me at by the proxy.

The first five minutes were all general instructions on how to use the mouse and scroll-bar and how to select the answers. Next was choosing any undergrad institutions that I wished to send my GRE scores to. That made no sense whatsoever to me! I thought GRE was for grad schools only, but whatever.... I rolled my eyes and moved on...

So I came to the essay writing part 15 mins after I had sat down at the computer. I took a long breath, released it and clicked the 'Proceed' button. The essay I chose to write about was: "People who are most committed to a policy or an idea are usually the ones most critical of it'" I refuted the statement and finished writing and proof-reading the essay just in time. *phew*

Oh time for class now... will blog later if I find time!