Once upon a time....

I am probably not a very emotional person for my own sake. While most Indian brides would sob endlessly during the time of their "vidaii", I was just a tad sad and had no tears in my eyes. I did not shed a tear or feel gloomy when I was leaving my friends and family in India and moving to U.S. permanently. I did not cry like my mother when we were in the middle of an earthquake that threatened to take our lives, nor did I express any intense emotion once the earthquake was over and we had been moved to a safe location. I did not cry at any point in my own wedding and I did not cry when I was moving away to college, away from my family. I don't claim that I have never cried because I did cry a lot at my grandfather's funeral. I also cried a bucket full after watching the 9/11 documentary. I have cried while watching videos of social injustice. And I have cried a LOT when I realized that I had hurt someone unintentionally by my ignorance and immaturity. I *almost* cried when I got pulled over by a cop for no fault of mine. My mechanism to cope with grief is to forget about it. And I don't cry because I consider myself pretty strong and I think that I can take on anything that comes my way. However, things that are out of my control and happening to someone else are worth crying over. I also tend to forget about my sad phases every easily. Those sad memories stay in the background and are overshadowed by the current affairs or events. There were certainly times when I wondered if there was something wrong with me. While all other girls could cry effortlessly at ALL sad things, I could only cry for selective, truly sad things. I know now that this was foolish and that I was worrying in vain. I am actually proud of the fact that I am not overly emotional and can avoid feeling unnecessarily overwhelmed most times in my life!